What Is Marriage ?

It is said that marriages are made in heaven and celebrated on earth. The popular belief is true to many extent, because it is a special bond shared between two souls, who tie the wedding knot after promising to be companions for a lifetime. It is the physical, mental and spiritual unison of two souls. It brings significant stability and substance to human relationships, which is otherwise incomplete. It plays a crucial role in transferring the culture and civilization from one generation to the other, so that the human race is prospered. The institution of marriage is beneficial to the society as a whole, because it is the foundation of the family, which in turn is the fundamental building block of the society. While the concept of marriage remains the same across the globe, the way of solemnizing it differs extensively. Different laws have been formulated to legalize the ceremony, which proves to be an important turning point in one's life. Apart from the laws of marriages, the rituals following during the ceremony are in total contrast to each other. Something that is seen in the western countries cannot be witnessed in other nations in the developing world, primarily due to the contrast in the lifestyle and religious beliefs. One of the prime reasons for the paramount status of marriage is that it is the license for two individuals to live together in a society, without much limitations. Coming to the subcontinent of India, marriage encompasses a number of meanings, apart from being a legalized way of uniting two people. It bears a lot of social significance. This is primarily because in India, marriage has been considered a way to bring the families of two individuals closer. Since the ancient times, marriages have been celebrated as ceremonious occasions, just like the religious festivals, wherein a number of rituals and customs are followed. A number of ceremonies are observed before, during and after wedding. The key to successful marriage is love, understanding, mutual respect, trust, commitment and togetherness. While many couples are able to find all the key ingredients in their marital relationships, others find one element or more lacking in their bond. This gives rise to consequences that are not always expected, or desired. This is a reason why a number of couples face adverse consequences, like divorce. One of the visible reasons why married couples find marriage as an intimidating bond is that they face a number of problems, while being in the relationship. Lack of trust, mutual respect, love and understanding contribute to the deterioration of the bond.

Types Of Marriages

The saying about different strokes for different folks is true in marriage, too. Many situations and lifestyle choices make for different types of marriages
some follow the traditional path and some follow a non-traditional path.

Traditional Path
1. Common Law Marriage
2. Cousin Marriages
3. Military Marriages
4. Prison Marriages
5. Arranged Marriages

Non-traditional
1. Same-Sex Marriage
2. Love Marriages

Advantages and disadvantages of Love Marriages

It’s true that marriages are made in heaven but celebrated on earth, but celebrating it either in the form of a love marriage or an arranged marriage is by chance. The young generation is nowadays more inclined towards love marriage than the arranged marriage with a stranger. Read on to know about the pros and cons of love marriage.
Be it love marriage or an arranged marriage, both have their own advantages and disadvantages. The sole remedy to make it last for longer is trust and commitment. Love marriage is done by own choice and chances for disadvantages seem less but this is not the truth.
Those couples who go for love marriages often don’t get family support and even their relatives don’t approve of their marriage. The worst disadvantage of such a marriage is an early break up, as both partners who were in love with each other before the marriage feel lack of freedom.
On the other hand, one of the best advantages of a love marriage is that it gives you the freedom to choose your own partner. In love marriages, couples tend to feel more secured and comfortable as they know the other person well and are also aware of his or her strengths and weaknesses

Love Marriages

It is the one word that can potentially free us from all of the weight and pain of life: And that word is love. Love is any of a number of emotions and experiences related to a sense of strong affection and attachment. Love can never be just one single feeling in itself, but is an emotion built up from two or more feelings. The easiest word to describe this complicated feeling would be war, whether you believe it or not. It can be one of the easiest things to begin, but one of the hardest things to let go of or end. It is the irresistible desire that cannot be denied. And it is obviously more than three words mumbled before bedtime. Love is always accounted for by the action of patterns or devotion in the things we do for each other every day.
Love can often be just like getting a sense of what heaven will be like. One must remember that love isn't what makes the world go round, but what makes the ride so worthwhile. When you say the words "I Love You," make sure you really mean it and are willing to do anything and everything for that special person. Understand that love has two sides. You must be willing to love, but more willing to be loved back. If you have no intention of improving that person's life, or allowing the person to be themselves and accept them for who they are, and not what you wish them to be, then you are not willing to reach out to love them unconditionally.
You should never expect anything in return when you are in love. When you give love, remember that it never guarantees anything in return. Love for the sake of love, and realize that someone may have a different way of showing his or her love for you. Always realize that you can lose the one you love, and this should help you to have a greater appreciation for what you actually have. There are thousands of people who would love to be in your shoes and not fortunate enough to have found love. So appreciate the moments, and never take your love for granted.
Love is not about finding someone to make love to, but finding someone that will suit you and who you feel comfortable with. If you are unable to love yourself, then how will you ever be able to love another? Never compare your feelings to what you used to feel with someone else. Everyone experiences rejection through times of love, it's the ones who can work through anything that have truly found eternal love. Men and women may be equal in god's eyes but they are different by nature. People who truly are in love are able to give their mates space to develop their potential and find their ways in life. Someone experiencing this remarkable feeling will do something because they were told to or because it benefits their mate, even if they really don't want to do it. Sometimes love is all we need to fill that last piece of the puzzle in our hearts.
Lovers don't insist that their way is best and demand the other gives in, but they find a way to resolve their conflicts and make both sides of the party happy. They don't take pleasure in their mates' disappointments or failure, but take in the feelings of their mate and feel failure when they fail. They are able to cry when the other cries, or smile because the other one smiled. True love will find trouble every time you look for it. Husbands and wives who torment themselves or others with groundless suspicion are not in true love, and must learn that true love is finding someone who you can absolutely trust, and never have to question. People who love each other never allow their problems to rob them of their happiness, but see them as hope. They learn to look beyond the problems and doubts and realize that no matter what task may come to hand, their love can find a way through it. True Love can ultimately twist the heart in ways it was never meant to be bent.
Finding true love in today's world can be rather difficult and a task meant to be handled by people who are willing to fight for everything and anything to see their love stay alive. Love will test your limits, push your buttons, but can be the only thing worth living for. So how do you know when you have truly found love? When you can answer these questions with a yes and there wouldn't be a thought considered deep down inside. Would you sacrifice your life to save your mates? And if someone came up to you with ten million dollars in cash, and told you that you could have the cash right now if you never talked to that person again, you wouldn't be able to take it. Because the pain of never talking to or seeing that person again would be worth more than any amount of money. That's how you should know you've found true love, and are willing to take on one of god's most challenging tasks. And remember that once you've found this true feeling, the only thing in the world that can take it apart is you, and only you.

Advantages and disadvantages of Arranged Marriage

Advantages of Arranged marriage
If we leave the west for a few days and transplant ourselves into any culture that promotes arranged marriages, we will, in time, realize the logic behind this practice and appreciate the reasons why they work. Some of those reasons can be attributed to the wisdom of elders. Because they raised and cared for their children, they instinctively know what’s best for their children, which includes the decision to select a life partner.
1. Risk of incompatability is diminished
Arranged marriages presuppose that two people are perfectly matched because they belong to the same culture, share the same religious upbringing, speak the same language, and raised in more or less the same socio-economic class. These identical backgrounds make it easier for the couple to communicate with each other and understand where each “is coming from.” Decisions in the upbringing of future children and their education leave little room for disparities in their thinking because of this “likeness.”
2. Idea of divorcing is unthinkable
This is another acknowledged advantage of arranged marriages. Given that the man and woman come from a similar background and therefore share the same views of marriage and family, the chance of divorcing due to irreconcilable differences is not as strong as in western cultures.
Note that it is not so much the arranged marriage per se that reduces the likelihood of divorce. As we discussed in another article, most arranged marriages no longer trigger a negative reaction because a good number of them are not forced. Parents who arrange marriages are fully aware that their children can always refuse a selected partner, in which case they simply look for another suitable partner. The input from the future groom and bride carries weight. The combination, therefore, of the parents’ wisdom and consent of the child would lead to a happier union so divorce would be unlikely.
India is the perfect example of a society where arranged marriages are still the norm and where the divorce rate is very low.
3. Extended family support has its benefits
In traditional societies, spouses sometimes live with the parents or live in the same housing compound. In times of difficulty, the couple can count on the help of their parents and in-laws for physical, emotional and financial support. When the children are born and both spouses work, finding adequate babysitters is a non-issue because the grandparents pitch in the care and nurturing of the children. The children are therefore supervised by close family members instead of by complete strangers, making them comfortable because they live in an atmosphere that they know well. Needless to add, when the couple has arguments, well-meaning elders can step in and offer advice and “arbitration” sessions.
Disadvantages of Arranged Marriages
For those who learn that arranged marriages are not necessarily forced, they adopt a more tolerant attitude towards this practice. One reason for this tolerance is that arranged marriages are a cultural trademark and should not be judged using western standards. If those who marry believe it’s “no big deal” to have their marriages arranged because it is a way of life they are accustomed to, then why should outsiders try to convince them otherwise? It’s not as if they’re being dragged into the marriage against their will or being groomed as slaves.
Nevertheless, for the sake of argument, here are some disadvantages of arranged marriages:
1. Inability to make up one’s own mind
When marriages are arranged by elders or parents, this does not encourage spouses to make up their own mind about who to marry. Instead of dating and meeting people and comparing them against one’s ideals, they leave that part of the work to someone else. Should either spouse end up unhappy after being married a few years, it can be very tempting to blame one’s parents for making an unsuitable choice.
2. Love takes second priority
“Decide with your head and not with your heart” is what parents tell their children. This philosophy tends to put love in the back burner. For people who live in societies where arranged marriages are the practice, they are convinced that if they don’t feel any passionate love when the marriage takes place, love will bloom eventually. It is more important to consider the social and economic viability of the marriage rather than put romantic love at the forefront – which will fade anyway because romantic love is at best a superficial feeling.
3. Interference from extended family
While there are benefits to having one’s extended family close by who can offer support when needed, this proximity has pitfalls. For some Muslims and others who have, in particular, been living in the west for a long time, may find this closeness a little awkward and uncomfortable. Some marital arguments and conflicts are settled better when only the spouses are involved. When the in-laws interfere and impose their views, this can cause stress to the marriage.

Arrange Marriage

When asked to think of arrangedarrangedarranged marriagemarriagemarriage, most Westerners visualize a forced marriagemarriagemarriage, in which the couple did not meet beforehand and had no say in the final decision. Forced marriages are outlawed in most countries of the world, because they are believed to be cruel and abusive, and most supporters of arrangedarrangedarranged marriages do not support forced marriagemarriagemarriage. A forced marriagemarriagemarriage can be an unpleasant experience for both parties, especially when they belong to a culture which does not permit divorce. Women, especially, can be victims of forced marriages which cause them to enter a state of virtual slavery.
The more modern arrangedarrangedarranged marriagemarriagemarriage involves a negotiation between the parents of a bride or groom and the parents of multiple prospective spouses. The parents create a short list of spouses who they think would be good matches for their children, and introduce the children to each spouse individually, sometimes allowing them to have some time alone to talk.
Ultimately, the children choose for themselves, although they choose from a list of parentally approved potential partners. However, if either party is not receptive to the idea of a marriagemarriagemarriage, negotiations are called off. These arrangedarrangedarranged marriages can result in a strong life-long partnership.
Some parents also merely offer introductions and encouragement, but do not take an active role otherwise. Modern supporters of arrangedarrangedarranged marriagemarriagemarriage see this as an acceptable compromise between a love marriagemarriagemarriage, which is made entirely between the potential spouses, and a traditional arrangedarrangedarranged marriagemarriagemarriage, in which the parents are heavily involved.
An introduction is usually followed by a brief courtship, and if the children are amendable, they may choose to marry.
The idea of making arrangedarrangedarranged marriages for social, political, and economic means is still widespread. Parents may try to match their children with spouses in other countries, where they think their children have a better chance of success, or may try to marry into a more wealthy family. However, the goal of happiness is also said to be an important part of arrangedarrangedarranged marriages. In cultures where arrangedarrangedarranged marriagemarriagemarriage is still practiced, parents regard marriagemarriagemarriage as a sacred duty, and want to ensure that their children are provided for. They strive to make matches which please their children, and some couples in arrangedarrangedarranged marriages have said that while their partnership did not start out with love, the spouses grew affection for each other and form a committed team.
Many supporters of arrangedarrangedarranged marriages say that the divorce rate is lower for these types of marriages, and use this as evidence to support the practice.
However, divorce is not encouraged in many nations where arrangedarrangedarranged marriagemarriagemarriage is practiced, and the couple may also be afraid to divorce because of social pressure. Although arrangedarrangedarranged marriages may be happier than traditional marriages, unhappy and abused spouses can exist anywhere. If a clear freedom of choice exists for both members of the potential couple, many think that the marriagemarriagemarriage will have a better chance of success.